pebble's writing

sunfluffs - the game that gets it

2026-05-03T00:00:00Z

disclaimer: this blog post is about a game that's in early access, the story is unfinished at the time of writing this

( also, this is less of a review and moreso just me gushing about a game that means a lot to me )

i played a game recently that i've had on my wishlist for a (long) while - sunfluffs! all i knew about the game going into it was that it's very queer and made by someone in my circles. also that the characters have belly nipples, which had no influence on my decision to play this game whatsoever. yep.

i admittedly wasn't expecting much going into it. from the pictures on the steam store page it kind of just looks like your average cutesy unity 3d platformer, and i've played enough games like that to know to tamper my expectations. don't get me wrong, i love those sorts of games, short indie games are genuinely like my favourite thing to play, but often times they tend to be pretty basic and rough around the edges. it genuinely took a total of one minute of playing the game to realize how wrong i was.

right off the bat, the game's menu is so charming and responsive. menu and ui design is one of my interests / fixations, and i really liked what sunfluffs was doing. starting the actual game, i was really surprised by how smooth and expressive the character animations were. animation is hard, and a really common thing i notice in games made by one person or a small team is that often times a lot of steps are taken to avoid having to animate characters a lot, like using 2d character portraits for speech bubbles, or avoiding showing moving characters as much as possible. sunfluffs does .. none of that. the world is full of different background characters moving around, doing their own little believable tasks, talking to each other. it makes the game feel alive. when you talk to them, both the player character and the ones you're talking to have expressive full body animations. their mouths move, they gesture in natural ways, they walk around, often in ways unique to the character. it feels wrong calling them npcs, because sunfluffs goes to such great lengths to make sure every character feels like a living being with their own unique personality and quirks.

another thing related to that that really stood out to me is the kinds of characters you'll meet in this game, their personalities and their ways of speaking. i'm so used to playing games written by and for straight neurotypical people. even if they try to be inclusive, they always tend to play it so safe. sure there's games with queer neurodivergent characters, but they so rarely actually feel like the queer neurodivergent people i know. it caught me so off guard how much talking to the characters in sunfluffs just felt like talking to my friends. i've gotten so used to having to look for the most distant hints of something relatable to latch onto in the games i play. games made by queer people often get close, but it's never quite there. then sunfluffs comes in with the most relatable and real queer creatures i've ever seen in, honestly, any piece of media. i think it might be the main reason i became so fixated on this game for a while. they just like me fr..

just look at them

but like. even ignoring that completely, there's just so much about this game that's done so well. the movement and controls feel so smooth and responsive. the world is pretty, unique, and it feels alive. the writing is really well paced, sweet and charming, but never too over the top. it's funny, but not in a forced way. all the interactions feel natural and they're accompanied by animations i wouldn't expect from a small team, much less what's mostly a single person project. the music is really good, i ended up ripping some of it from the game files because it got stuck in my head and i needed to hear it again. there were so many little moments when i did something i'd never expect the game to account for, only to see a unique interaction specifically just for whatever weird random thing i just did.

for example, there's a clothing store in the game. on my first visit, i bought all kinds of clothes, but then i realized that the game doesn't force you to wear clothes. i ended up just dressing my character in striped socks and arm warmers, otherwise completely naked. as i was leaving, the shopkeeper asked why i bought all this stuff if i'm not gonna wear any of it. and my character responded with something like, "i'll wear it later, i just realized that i can just.. do this". it made me so happy to be called out like that.. and there's so many little interactions like this.

note the rubber pride flag <3

this game made me feel so seen. i'm so used to feeling like an alien in this world, to nothing being made for someone like me, to not being able to relate to most of the media others enjoy. this silly little game makes no excuses, it doesn't hide parts of itself to try to appeal to a wider audience - it's so unapologetically queer and weird. it knows how much joy there is to be found in being this way and finding others like you. it gets it in a way i don't think any other game i played does.

.. if you're wondering what the gameplay is like, it's like a mix of of platforming, walking around, exploring, talking to different characters, racing, taking pictures, dodging attacks, and it's also kind of a metroidvania at times. it's very varied, but there's a story you follow and goals to work towards. different chapters have different areas to explore.

some other things this game has that i didn't manage to fit into the blog post but thought were rly neat: unique base six numbering system, really interesting worldbuilding, amazing representation of different disabilities and plural folks, implied tf

thanks for reading my ramble <3 if the game sounds like something you'd enjoy, you can grab it on steam or itch.io

ps: azure, you mentioned at some point that i and the stuff i make inspired you. i want u to know that your little game and how much of yourself you put into it inspired me so much ;w; i was going through a rough time, feeling ashamed of the things i am, feeling like i should be hiding away parts of myself so i don't risk making others uncomfortable. i think playing through sunfluffs helped me with that a lot, along with the kind words you left on one of my blog posts. thank you so much for making this <3

making pebble in 3D

2026-04-02T00:00:00Z

so, the 3D pebble model! i had it in mind to write a blog post about it since the start, but i foolishly didn't think to take notes throughout. but i did take screenshots! plenty of those. i'll do my best to try to recall the specifics i had in mind throughout.

this blog post uses a few technical terms, i thought it'd be worth it to explain them here:

vertex (singular) / vertices (plural) - the individual points of geometry on a 3D model where the lines meet. 3 or more vertices connected make a polygon
mesh - vertices connected by edges, together making up a more complex 3d shape. a model is usually made up of multiple meshes. for example the glasses on my model are a separate mesh from the body
bevel - adding sloped edges to a shape, doing this adds extra geometry.
extrude - extend an existing shape by "pulling" out from a part of it, creating new geometry in the process
subdivide - adds geometric complexity without changing the shape. for example, a square can be subdivided once to turn it into 4 smaller squares.

please don't quote me on these i'm just doing my best to explain them in a way that'd make sense to someone who doesn't know much about 3d

getting started

i don't remember what originally inspired me to get started on this, but i've been wanting to get into making 3d stuff for a while. i wasn't entirely new to 3d getting into this - i took a blender class at school, made an (admittedly really bad) animation as a final project for school, and i messed with sketchup a lot when i was way younger. but i've never made a character model, or anything organic really. i did try modeling myself in blender this one time when i was a yinglet, but i really struggled with the sculpting tools and gave up on it pretty quickly.

i'm very thankful to forest / rowan, who helped me a great amount with getting started and answering some of my questions as i went. it showed me a modeling process that involves starting out with a cube, adding modifiers to smooth it out, and then editing / adding individual vertices as you go. i felt a lot more comfortable modeling this way than sculpting, and it gave me a solid base for getting started.

at first i just modeled the general head shape. i used large polygons and tried not worrying too much about the details. after that was done, and i knew i was serious about this and wanted to work on it more, i made a simple front / side view reference drawing of pebble that i'd use as a basis for the model. my knowledge of anatomy was very helpful here, as well as using plentiful references. figuring out how to make her not look dumb from the front was .. difficult, and i don't think i quite managed it. but that's ok, i think it adds to the charm. i added this reference image to the blender document, and got started modeling.

reference sketch

broad strokes

i added a cube to the scene, beveled it, then moved all the vertices to match up with the general shape of the sketch from the side and the front. i extruded from there, using broad strokes, matching up the vertices to the shape of the sketch. this gave me a very boxy, very rough shape that vaguely resembled pebble's main body. i then subdivided this mesh, basically adding extra details and geometry, then positioned that geometry along the sketch, as well as rounding out the edges using my anatomical knowledge. i wish i took more screenshots during this stage, as i feel like it was the most important, but the first screenshot of the model i have is this:

rough, but it's a start!

i had the general shape of pebble's main body modeled out. more details needed to be added, the body needed to be connected to the head, as well as the ears to the head, but it was a start! the next step was to connect the separate meshes together. it was relatively simple, just tedious: i had to cut out the parts of the meshes that intersected together, then individually connect the vertices on both objects, adding extra geometry where things didn't quite line up.

you might notice that the lighting on the ears looks very rough - that's because the initial geometry of the ears was really bad. things connected very poorly, the density of the vertices wasn't even throughout and they used a lot of triangles - which is apparently bad, i learned later that you want most of the geometry to be squares for it to deform better. but ! it was important not to get stuck reworking things at this point of the process. make it first; make it good later.

90s videogame ahh lighting

next up: the arms! same as with the body, each segment started out as a cube, which was then stretched and extruded to match up with the sketch from the side and the front. after the general shape was done, i subdivided it, then adjusted the extra geometry. this step was definitely extra difficult because the limbs are mechanical and the segments ideally shouldn't clip together when bending, but i tried to not worry too much about it at this stage. i connected the segments using very basic geometry, then it was onto the hooves.

i have 3d printed wearable hooves that i used for reference for these. it was very helpful to be able to look at and rotate an object in the real world as i was modeling. you might notice that these look different from the hooves on the final model, they don't have the soft underside and they're way less detailed. this is mainly because i didn't have a defined look for the underside of pebble's hooves at this point, i drew them differently on each drawing. later when i decided on a fixed look i'd rework them.

the colors are different here because i switched to a different "material" in the viewport, just so it's more pleasant to look at

i also modeled the tail at some point, it's basically just a cylinder that gets narrower towards the end. i later squished it a bit to better resemble a tail shape, but its geometry might be the simplest part of the model. the bit that was really difficult to get right was the bit where it connects to the body. the tail is very large and wide, so figuring out a seamless way to connect it to the main body without it looking weird or obscuring the butt too much took a while, but i'm really happy with what i came up with

the legs came next, being modeled in the same way the arms were. the knee caps were copied from the arms and just stretched out a bit to fit. the hooves were also copied; it's important to me for reasons that all her hooves be the exact same shape and size, so i ended up having to adjust the legs a little bit to be able to fit the hooves next to each other without clipping.

look at those shapes!! hhh

the hair

i spent a while adjusting all the parts of the body, fixing up little details, smoothing out the geometry where needed, pretty much just doing what i could to not have to do the hair. i was around a month into the project at this point, and the body was done! and it looked so good! i was really happy with my progress so far.

but oh gosh, the hair. i was dreading getting to this part pretty much all the way through, trying to think of a way to model her hair faithfully to how it looks in 2d. but.. i take a lot of creative liberties with how i draw her hair in 2d; it's not consistent depending on what side / angle you're looking at it from. and there's so much volume to it!

i tried out a bunch of different approaches. i tried modeling the hair as one block like the other parts of her body a few times, but i realized that wasn't going anywhere. i tried adding lots of individual shaped "strands", but with how much volume there was to her hair that also wasn't going anywhere. i asked others for help, and i received a bunch of suggestions on how i could do this, which i really appreciated. but none of the approaches were seeming like they were gonna work. i was really struggling with this, and it resulted in me putting the project down for a while.

i was having a rough one with the second one here

it took three and a half months, but i was able to figure something out! i went with the approach of using individual strands, but i made them much larger. i gave up on trying to follow the silhouette of the sketch, instead going by vibes alone. adding strand after strand layering them, mixing up the sizes, until .. i was done! i did it! once i settled on this approach i had the hair done in a day. and it looked so good! i was really happy with the result. it looked exactly how i imagine my sona's hair in my mind, despite only being about a quarter of the size compared to the sketch. like, look at this:

aa!! i was so happy to figure this out

wild how little of the actual volume is needed for the same general vibe, right?

after completing the hair model, i added a few extra details, like the belly button and nostrils.

look at that tummy :3

after that, i decided to redo the topology of the ears using a process called "retopology". what that involves is basically making a whole new mesh on top of the existing one, except with better geometry. here, compare:

much better, right?

anyway, that was that! the model, done! now onto the textures

textures & onward

we're now 4 months into the project, and the next step is UV unwrapping. what this is is basically taking every part of your model and deciding where on the texture image it'll go. you mark the seams where the individual pieces of the texture will part, then "unwrap", then carefully position everything how you want it. i don't really have pictures of the process because there's not much to take pictures of, but i can show you how things ended up laid out on the final texture!

the way i laid things out isn't the most efficient use of space, but ehh, it works.

as you can probably tell from the look of the texture file, i painted everything by hand. i had done this a few times before while customizing vrchat avatars for myself, so it wasn't too difficult, but doing this for the first time can be very disorienting. aligning things in 3d space while doing it this way was the most difficult. i overlaid both sides of the model on top of each other, which made things simpler because i only had to texture one side. this results in some limitations, like not being able to "bake" lighting into the texture for things like uploading to sketchfab, but i can live with that.

i decided to do the eyes by having two meshes "floating" above the actual face mesh, then swapping out different 2d textures for different facial expressions. i felt this way of doing it would fit my art style best. for now i just used a static texture, but later i'd have everything separated so i could easily toggle between expressions and move the iris.

i decided to be a little fancy and make a "normal" texture too. i only really use it for the horns, the front of the snout and the belly nipples. basically what this allows you to do is fake extra detail that isn't actually there by affecting how the light reacts with these areas.

the most important details...

aaaand ta-da ! that's the model all done. yep. there's nothing more to do.

...

what do you mean i spent 5 more months working on this

rigging & weight painting

i uh, really struggled with this part. rigging wasn't actually that bad; at first i tried a few add-ons that "do it for you", but since half the reason i was here was to learn how to do this stuff it felt counter-productive. i watched a few tutorials, and then i made the entire skeleton for the model myself - once you know the basics, like how to name the bones so they get mirrored properly or what bones you need in the first place, there's not much to it.

the weight painting was a different story.

if you don't know what weight painting is, essentially you're telling each bone exactly how much influence it should have over each part of the mesh when moving. if you do it wrong, at best you end up with very unnatural looking bends near the joints, and at worst you'll be trying to figure out why moving the leg makes the character's nose shoot out into the sky.

blender has a feature that does the weight painting for you automatically when pairing the skeleton to the mesh. this works okay for humanoid models with organic anatomy - you still have to do a lot of work manually adjusting areas like the shoulders or hips, but it gives you a decent head start. but if you're working with a (partially) mechanical model, one with non-human anatomy like digitigrade legs, a snout and a tail, using automatic weights does more harm than good. i watched tutorial after tutorial, desperately trying to find ones that actually attempt to explain the basic concepts instead of giving you a hack to do it in 5 minutes that doesn't actually help or teach you anything. i kept trying to make the automatic weights work, adjusting and adjusting, resetting and starting from scratch every time i realized my approach wasn't going to work. it felt hopeless, and unfortunately for this one step none of my friends had any helpful advice - you just kind of have to get a feel for it.

i gave up, for now. the model sat in a near-finished state for months. i felt utterly defeated by what was expected of me at this point. weight painting is very difficult to learn because there's no learning curve - you either know how to do it or you don't, and up until the point it clicks you'll feel like you're not making any progress. turns out what i needed was some external motivation.

i started trying to get back into VR. i had fallen into a bit of a slump, isolating myself from my friends, not wanting to interact with anyone other than my owner - i could tell it wasn't good for me, and how much it was affecting my mental health. i find this kind of socializing very difficult, but i figured it'd be helpful to try joining my friends in VR again. it was really awkward at first, i couldn't help but feel like i was infringing on a space i wasn't wanted in, despite nobody doing anything to make me feel that way. it was tough at first, but as i kept joining every week it started getting easier, i started enjoying myself around others, i was having fun! the avatar i was using at the time was a possum base that i retextured to kind of look like my sona. it was a fun design, but it didn't quite feel like me. and as i started being more comfortable being myself around others, i wanted to look more like me, too. i remembered the model that sat on my solid state drive collecting digital dust, and i made it a goal in my mind to make it into an avatar within the next week, ready in time for the next meet i'd be joining.

avi, one of the friends i was hanging out with in vr, offered to show me how to set up my blender workspace so i can easily switch back and forth between a set pose and a t-pose preview, and i took her up on that. this was very helpful, as you wanna be weight painting while your character is in a neutral pose, but you can't really see whether the weight painting is working well unless the character is posed differently. this setup allowed me to experiment / iterate quickly. i gave up on trying to use any sort of automatic weights and all, i gave up on tutorials, and i started weight painting from scratch. selecting each bone, assigning it the vertices that it seemed like it should be able to affect based on my knowledge of anatomy. i focused on getting individual parts right before i'd move onto the next, and i started out with the easier ones before moving onto the tough parts like shoulders and hair. first i blocked out the general shape of weights for each bone, previewed it, then adjusted parts that didn't quite look right, previewed that, then adjusted again. this loop let me slowly crawl my way towards weights that looked okay, which was all i wanted.

in my mind it seemed like doing the weights by hoof would be an impossible task, like it would take months, like it was dumb to even try. i had them done in a week. turns out getting there eventually the hard way is faster than not getting there at all the easy way. i was so happy to finally have working weights. i could bend any part of my model in a way that seemed like it made sense, even if it was a little rough around the edges. it gave me the motivational boost i needed to finish the model.

unity

ok so, the model was now actually done, but that wasn't quite it for me. i wanted to turn it into a usable vrchat avatar. i had imported pre-made avatars into unity before, i already knew a lot of the process that'd be needed to get mine working, but there were still some other things i needed to learn to get this done. it was clear i wasn't gonna get this done in time for the next meetup, but i also didn't wanna join with my old avatar again, so i decided to skip this one to give myself another week.

unlike the stuff that i needed to learn to actually make a model, anything vrchat-related has a ton of fantastic tutorials made for it. i followed the official tutorial to set up my unity environment, then a few community tutorial made by other furries to get my avatar imported, bones mapped, constraints set to get the digitigrade legs working with a plantigrade base skeleton, to set up the cartoon shader. it took a lot of iterating, but at no point did i feel stuck with this and... i was able to get it working for the next meet!

there was still a bunch i wanted to add, like blinking, expressions, extra animations, the glasses shader was a little broken, there were a few weight painting glitches that needed to be addressed, but ... i got to be me !!

i cannot describe the amount of joy i felt seeing myself in a mirror, with my big ass snout, my silly hooves, my huge tail. i looked down and saw more of the same, just, my body exactly as i imagine it, exactly as i see myself in my mind. it was all so worth it, if just for this feeling.

finishing touches

it's really nice to get to be me when i hang out with my friends in VR. others' responses to seeing the model also made me very happy, it's really nice to have all the work i put in appreciated. between the next few VR meetups i fixed the shaders and other issues the model had, plus i added stuff like blinking, expressions, fortnite default dance and some other minor stuff.

the vrchat avatar was done, but i didn't really have a way to show the model off online. the shader configuration i set up in unity with cel shading and outlines was essential to the model's look, but i didn't have any of that in blender. my unity knowledge is very limited, i def don't feel like i know enough to pose the character in it how i'd like, set up the lighting, then render all that somehow. so i was faced with a choice: either somehow make the blender version of the model look like the unity one, or learn all that stuff in unity.

for the vrchat version, i just used poiyomi toon shader - a free, pre-made and easily configurable cel shader. i basically just slapped it into the avatar and configured the settings how i liked, i didn't have to do anything crazy or complicated. i figured surely, there must be something like that for blender, right?

nope.

as far as i could find, not only does blender not have a built-in cel shader (idk this seems like a very basic thing to have in a program like that??), but there's also no simple cel shaders available online? i looked into this a lot, but eventually i resorted to making my own shader to mimic the appearance of the one i have in unity.

i swear all of these have a purpose

i followed a lot of tutorials to put this together and it's not pretty but it works and that's like all i needed. i initially wanted to make a little 3d scene to show the model off, but i kept putting it off, and i really didn't wanna delay showing the model off for longer, so i ended up just making a simple scene of pebble sitting on a rotating default cube, which honestly was the right call imo. aaaand that's pretty much it!

i wish i could say i feel accomplished having finished such a large project and having learned a lot from it, but honestly i just feel kinda relieved it's done and that i don't have to worry about working on it anymore. apparently this is a common thing with adhd, where u don't really get to feel a sense of accomplishment after finishing something. surely the next big thing i work on is gonna be the thing that makes me feel like i'm enough

extras

that's about it! thank u for reading through my blog post, let me know ur thoughts if u have any. here are some extra pics / videos that i didn't feel like fit elsewhere.

topology

a normal amount of detail

wagwagwagwagwagwag

first vrchat import

wireframe

it took a while to figure out a way to get the elbow caps to work right

messing around with materials

animation behind the scenes

expressions

rain world: the watcher - a companion guide

2026-03-22T00:00:00Z

foreword

the watcher is so close to being my favorite bit of rain world. it's full of stuff i love, and playing through it felt a lot like playing through the original rain world for the first time. but it's also full of needless frustrations that take away from the experience and make it impossible to recommend to anyone. with this guide i'm hoping to help first time watcher players avoid a lot of the unnecessarily frustrating bits that kept me from having fun.

before you start

this guide expects you to have completed rain world's survivor campaign, and ideally all non-watcher campaigns (you're good if you skipped monk and/or hunter) - it also just adds a lot to the watcher experience if you do that first

throughout your watcher playthrough, you'll run into all kinds of events, encounters and phenomena. after each of these events, come back here and check in with the guide. reveal the first spoilered point under whatever event you encounter - it'll only provide the most important information, to make sure you're on the right path and not missing out on stuff, while avoiding as many spoilers as possible. only reveal more if you're feeling lost!

the prologue

where do i go?

this section is specifically for if you're lost in the prologue and don't know where to go
visit key areas you've visited during other campaigns
you'll notice that a lot of the world is blocked off by rot, only a few regions are available to you - explore them thoroughly!
visit echo locations available to you
you need to visit the echos in chimney canopy, shaded citadel, and farm arrays

first encounter, OAOAO!

you're on the right path! keep going.
there are two more of these encounters ahead
look at the last point in "where do i go"

post-prologue / spinning top's story

a new land

you've made it through the prologue! with a whole new world open to you, you should look around and explore

a rift

these rifts are your main way of traversing between regions. except for special cases, they remain in place, don't close, and let you traverse both ways within a cycle. after you travel through a rift, there's a brief cooldown before you're able to use it again.

what am i looking for?

this section is specifically for if you're lost in the vast world, not knowing what you're looking for!
there are encounters hidden throughout the world. not every region has one. if you haven't run into one, i'd recommend exploring each region thoroughly before you move onto the next.
you're looking for the same echo you met before. you'll know you're getting close when you hear a strange, distorted laughter. the regions where she's located have specific markings on the region map.

i can't progress within a region / the area i'm in is too difficult

some regions are meant to be explored during later stages of the campaigns, when you have better means of getting around and avoiding predators. if you're stuck, use the rift that got you into this area to get out, and come back later.
if you're stuck in a rotted region from the base game, you have two options. each of these regions has a portal hidden somewhere that allows you to get out, so you can do your best to explore and find it. or you can die and just, not do what got you here.
if you're stuck in outer rim, go to the "outer rim (region)" section

the screen keeps warping and going purple and then i die!

the larger of the strange purple void creatures can harm you - watch out!

new ability

after encountering spinning top two times in the new regions, she'll grant you a new ability. you can either either use this ability with karma flower protection, which will take you to a random region, or without, which will take you to one of a few regions overtaken by decay. the latter is generally the most reliable way of getting to outer rim, you should go there at least once. these rifts created by you last for around 3 cycles. i wouldn't recommend using it without karma flower protection too much, as you'll keep ending up in the same area, and it can get boring / repetitive.

outer rim (region)

outer rim is a unique region that you'll find yourself in a lot. it's vast, and there's a bunch of stuff to find here. go out and explore! there is an easily missable "side quest" here, if you want to learn what it involves look at the third bullet point under outer rim, i'd recommend it!
unless you somehow got here early, there's only one exit, to the far west (left) of the region. if your max karma / ripple level is lower than 3, there's an exit located at a lower level. don't go through the desert and you'll find it eventually.
there is a special room in this region that shows a spiral made up of blocks. you can fill this spiral by freeing all the ripple spawn (small purple floaty creatures) found trapped around this region - there are 50 of them. once you've done this, something will appear and guide you to where you need to go. this entity doesn't disappear if you sleep

shattered terrace (region)

if you find yourself here before you've reached karma / ripple level 9 (the one that plays silly music when you use your stealth ability), just keep playing as normal. if you are at karma level 9, go to the point below
to the west of this region, in the most shattered part of it, you'll find spinning top in a strange state. you need to enter the ripplespace to be able to see her (use your stealth ability)

ancient urban (region)

just explore around, you'll find what you need eventually. there's a machine that allows you to read pearls hidden above the "workshop", i strongly recommend bringing at least one pearl to it.

after the first ending

what do i do next?

this is the part where i really got lost. i recommend doing the "side quest" in outer rim before you proceed if you haven't already, it'll grant you an ability that helps a lot with the next part of the game. you'll also need to have visited the upper part of "the throne" in outer rim at least 3-4 times, enough to trigger a new encounter in the uppermost room. if you've done both of these things, go to the next point.
if you check your world map, you'll notice some of the regions have golden falling feathers over their icon. you'll need to visit one of these regions, and explore around until you find a "sealed" warp point. you'll know you found it when you see golden effects around the room centering around a single point with strange ominous music starting to play as soon as you entered this room. once here, you'll want to enter ripplespace (you need to be at max karma for this, use your stealth ability). in ripplespace, somewhere in this room will be strange webbing / strings concentrating around a pipe entrance. enter this pipe, then find the same ripplespace webbing in the next room, and go through the pipe it's concentrated around. keep doing this until you reach the final room. here you'll need to exit ripplespace, and there will be a new encounter. after this encounter, proceed to "the weaver"

the weaver

if you have not awakened the prince in outer rim and gotten the special outer rim ability by this point, please do so now as outer rim will become very difficult (or outright impossible) to access after the next step. if you've done this, proceed to the next point. note that the entirely rotted regions from the vanilla game accessible by using your personal warp without karma protection will become INACCESSIBLE after the next step.
you'll need to meet the weaver a total of 4 times, using the steps outlined in "what do i do next". after you've done this, proceed to the next point. NOTE: after the 4th encounter, the "prince" ending will become near impossible to achieve - this ending is optional, extremely tedious, unrewarding, and not canon (or even acknowledged) in the final ending. i would strongly discourage doing it as it was the main contributing factor to my frustration with the watcher expansion as a whole. it will not be covered in this guide, if you really want to do it please look it up elsewhere.
after the fourth meeting, along with your transformed appearance, you've now unlocked the ability "purify" rooms of rot if you stand in them long enough. you can purify entire regions like this if you'd like, but it's not required. you will now also seal rifts after traveling through them. your task is to seal every warp point present around the world, including ones created by you (though those disappear after around 4 cycles). rifts to outer rim and inside ripplespace are exempted. this is very tedious, but it won't take as long as you think. after you've sealed the final rift, a cutscene will trigger

the final ending

in order to trigger the final ending, you'll need to have finished spinning top's story, encountered the prince, as well as sealed every rift and consequently seen the weaver ending. if you've done all this, make your way to daemon. from daemon's central room, take the top right pipe, then make your way to the room with three obelisks. in the center of that room, create a rift. have tissues ready. gl;hf

closing notes

i hope this guide is helpful! if you can think of anything that feels like it's missing from here, or you have any other suggestions, please let me know!

Raising the Hoof

2026-02-05T00:00:00Z

The Making of Afterhour Adjustments

Hello!! Despite being a pretty short comic, Afterhour Adjustments is the biggest project I've taken on - probably ever, to be honest! So I figured I'd talk some about the process of creating it, as there's a lot that was changed, cut, or added over the few months I spent working on it. For the sake of making this easier to read, I'll use proper capitalization for once.

Special Thanks

Firstly, I'd like to extend special thanks to all those who supported me throughout the process of making this comic:

My close friends & my owner, for keeping me company while I worked on this thing and being there to support me

Furufoo, for providing very thoughtful feedback and suggestions on composition, pacing, layout, etc., and letting me use their cool comic font. Go check out their art!!

The critters who bought the comic, for helping me pay the bills (thank youuuuu <3 ;w;)

& all of u who shared feedback on the comic, for helping motivate me to make more stuff and making me feel appreciated

Thank you all so much <3

What follows is the original behind the scenes document included with the paid release of this comic, with only minor grammar and accuracy edits.

The Idea

I was talking to a friend about the idea of mouthlessness, and what living without a mouth would be like - which is something I've been fixated on a lot lately. Do you ever get fixated on kinks? It honestly happens to me a lot, and I find there's not much I can do to like, satisfy my fixation. We were talking about it a lot, specifically the different aspects of life it'd affect. The idea of a mouthless character getting an x-ray and seeing just how thoroughly their anatomy had been altered was mentioned, and that idea really stuck with me. It was something I wanted to explore, so I did a simple sketch of my sona, then overlaid it with a sketch of what its skull would look like. I used images of actual capybara skulls for reference to help sell the realism of it. And I was really happy with the result! Though it did look kinda freaky, and I was worried others might really not like it, so I decided against posting it in the end. But you get to see it! :3

I was so happy with the result, in fact, that I wanted to explore this idea more. Over the course of a few days I came up with the idea for a short comic of pebble going to a doctor shortly after being transformed, being faced with the reality of just how permanent its new situation was. Then I figured that if I was going to show what pebble was doing after being transformed, I might as well also show how it got transformed in the first place. And so, the first draft of Afterhour Adjustments started to take shape.

Initial Scope

The idea of making a whole comic was very intimidating. At this point, I had only ever made one multi-page comic, and that was 5 years ago. Inclination: Null was also stylistically very simple, with the whole comic drawn as just rough sketches. But I had recently figured out a way to make myself draw nearly every day, and I was working on drawing ideas more complex than I had been able to in years, so I figured it would be worth a shot. I started by deciding that this project was going to be 5-10 pages, which should hopefully be enough to tell the story I wanted to, and I got to work on a rough draft of the story.

At first, I was only going to focus on the transformation aspect. I saw this comic by FabFreakShow, where a character gets transformed by having someone mold their form like it's made of clay, and it stuck with me and inspired the direction I decided to take with this comic's transformation. I thought about who was going to transform her, and the first thing that came to mind was this demon character design I had been forming in my head for like, years at this point. The fit was too perfect for me to choose anything else, honestly! I wrote out a very rough script for the first 3 pages, not even having a set direction in mind for the rest of the comic, and I got to work. Overthinking is my worst enemy when it comes to creating, so I wanted to avoid it as much as I could.

Style Evolution

I was still skeptical about whether I'd be able to finish an entire comic, even if I did my best to keep the scale down, so I wanted to ease my workload as much as I could to keep myself motivated. I worried that if the pages were to take me a long time to make, I wouldn't be able to stay motivated long enough to continue working on the project. Which is why I initially decided on a simple style. I would keep it monochrome and use thick lines, making plentiful use of the line tool for the backgrounds.

I quickly realized that I didn't like how this came out. I thought that not having to deal with colors would make this easier, but turns out drawing in monochrome is like, a whole skill of its own that I'm not very good at. Oops! For my second attempt, I decided to add some complexity. Still keeping it monochrome, I added individual shades to the character and I added shadows.

This definitely looked better! But I still wasn't happy with it. I liked the added contrast, but it now looked like a 30s noir detective drama. Which is, like, not at all what I was going for.. Instead of reworking everything, I decided to mess with different color filters. Given the night theme, I decided to try a darker shade of blue, and I honestly think it worked pretty well!

At this point, I thought it looked good, and I totally could have done the whole comic in this style. But.. I thought I could do better. I wasn't liking the thick uniform lines. I thought the contrast was still pretty bad. I just really wasn't feeling this style for this comic, so I decided to try a different approach.

I pretty much drew the whole page again. I used thinner lines, giving everything definition in the process. I also decided that I would use colors after all - but to keep it simpler, I would use a set color scheme for the backgrounds. The colors of the character didn't change from page to page, so I didn't have to worry about that too much. I would also use soft shading instead of cel shading, as I found I had an easier time with it and I could get away with being less precise without it looking bad. Interesting, right? I'd have thought soft shading would be more effort, but I find it much simpler, if I'm trying to make it look decent, anyway. Lastly, I added a subtle color overlay over the non-shaded parts of the character as like, an easy way to make the lighting "pop out" more. I was really happy with this! This was the direction I wanted to go.

After getting started on page 2, I made a few further adjustments to the style. Mostly I just adjusted the colors slightly, but I also added rim lighting to the character to help her stand out more against the backgrounds. Additionally, I decided to put a little more effort into some of the simple backgrounds, like the cityscape here. I also later decided I'd go for narration instead of thought bubbles on the first page, to better tie it in with the final pages.

The Story

Before I started working on the comic, I decided that I wouldn't try to plan the whole thing out from the start and leave it more open ended for myself. I wasn't really sure how draining working on the comic would be for me and how many pages I'd want to draw, so it was important to not constrain myself at this point.

The Bad Ending

Over time I started trying to figure out where I wanted to go with the comic. The initial idea was to just focus on pebble losing her mouth, and the aftermath of that. Instead of being relatively calm once she gets teleported home towards the end, she was going to panic, running to the bathroom, struggling to deal with her new reality. There was going to be a lot of focus on the panicking part, internal dialogue, her feeling up her snout, that kind of thing. I wanted to just end the comic there, with pebble all panicked. I think TF stories where the TFee struggles with it at first can be really fun!

There was also a plan to do a follow-up comic if I felt like it, exploring pebble's life after the transformation. The scene where she gets an x-ray showing absolutely nothing being left of her mouth was honestly the thing that got me to want to do the comic, so it's not much of a surprise that this was one of the things I wanted to focus on in the follow-up. Other scenes I wanted to include were her figuring out that her snout is sensitive for the first time, struggling with the conflict of not wanting to give in to the changes, but also wanting so bad to make herself feel good in that way. Then her meeting up with friends for the first time post-transformation, and what that would be like.

The Good Ending

Later on, I decided to sort of merge the follow-up comic with the main story and include the scenes after what was initially meant to be the ending. I also decided to go for a more euphoria-focused vibe, since I felt it fit better with how I feel about the theme of mouthlessness. I also just liked it more, honestly - I feel like you don't see TFs with happy endings that often. Instead of the ideas I wanted to explore getting their own scenes, they each got one or two panels. I feel like the one and a half pages of pebble's life after the transformation add so much to the comic, and bring it all together really nicely. I'm sure some of you would have preferred the peril-type ending, but personally, I think there are more than enough tf comics like that out there :3

After deciding on the new ending, I also decided that pebble would get nulled and hoofed as well. Initially, she was going to already be null by the time the events of the comic take place, having gotten a bottom surgery and all, but I figured her getting nulled would be very fun to include, so I dedicated a few panels to that :3 I've also had the idea of having hooves for hands but still having her/my regular footpaws stuck in my head for a while. Something about the footpaws being more dextrous than the forelimbs is really appealing to me! So I decided to include this as well. Personally I think the combination works really well, and I'm really glad I decided to go with it.

Designing Rascal

I've had this idea for a trickster demon character in mind for a while now. A wish fulfillment demon who gets satisfaction from changing others' bodies in a way that they don't yet know they want - but they always end up loving it.

In terms of visual design, I wanted it to clearly look out of place. Not bound by the laws of our world, its body a single color, except for white lines defining its shapes where needed. Its body lanky, stretchy. Here are the characters who inspired its design and behavior, in no specific order:

Can you guess what behaviors are inspired by which character? :3

I decided to give it shackles with chains permanently attached to its collar and limbs, to kinda show that others tried to contain it, but failed - that it cannot be stopped. It plays by its own rules, and if it chooses you as its "victim", there's absolutely nothing you can do to stop it from permanently altering your body in whatever way it wants :3

I find the whole idea of this character incredibly hot ok

Also, since I've been asked about this a lot throughout the process of sharing this comic publicly:
Rascal is a wish fulfillment demon, of a sort. The idea is what whatever it does to you, you eventually end up enjoying it, and feeling like it was exactly what you needed in life.

Closing Thoughts

Thank you so much for being interested in my little comic!! Whether you supported it financially, or just enjoyed it once I shared it publicly, your support means a lot to me! It was honestly such a joy to get to work on this, and to see it to completion. I've never attempted, much less finished, a project of this scale. There's definitely things I could've done better, things I would've done differently if I could have, but I'm really proud of myself for not expanding the scope of the project more than I could handle, and it was a great learning experience for me too.

A part of why I wanted to do this was to see whether making comics was genuinely outside of my reach, whether it was something I could do but didn't really enjoy, or whether it was something I could see myself doing for a while. Thankfully, I believe it's the last option! With this knowledge, and all the experience I gained working on this project, I think I might finally be able to get started on another project I've had in mind for a while. We'll see ;3

Thanks for reading!!

PS: If you're interested in more like this, this story I write a bit ago takes place in the same world and also features Rascal. Admittedly I don't have much experience with writing stories and it kinda shows in this one >w>'

behind the paws!

2026-01-22T00:00:00Z

i thought i'd talk a little about the process of making the paw drawing from an artist's perspective, since it was a fun experiment in a lot of ways!

this post has a lot of images! please don't mind their layout, i don't wanna code a new image layout just for this one post >w>' you can click on them to expand them if you'd like

ok, so, the initial sketch had a lot of line thickness variance, but it was also too rough to try to clean up without spending a lot of time on it, so i did my best to try to preserve the variance while doing a line pass. i don't usually do this, so it was fun to try to figure out where the extra weight made sense vs where it was just a byproduct of struggling with the shape during the sketch phase - interestingly there was a lot of overlap! difficult shapes tend to be the ones that look good highlighted, turns out

in terms of shading, i picked a more difficult light source position (above) than i usually do, i thought it'd be fun with the complex shapes to try to figure which parts the light would hit. i also put extra effort into using shading to highlight certain anatomy, specifically the "heels" here. in a lot of art i like i noticed that artists often use shading to highlight details that aren't lined or colored, so i wanted to practice doing that too! i think i'll be trying to do that more in the future. sometimes i like to compare the process of soft shading to like, carving out a statue, and on the pic below you can kinda see what i mean! in essence the process is very similar (erasing out pieces to make shapes come to life). i also put a slight gradient over the shading layer, i figured it'd add a nice touch.

even with all the shading i wanted to make the focus of the drawing pop out more, so i decided to add little shiny highlights that point towards the light source. despite being a really small detail i feel like it adds a lot. cue the meme that's like "horny vs not horny" and the only difference is a few shinies dfgjh

then to add a little warmth i added an orange gradient over top, erased out the spots where light doesn't hit, and set the blending mode to color dodge. it's like barely noticeable, but i feel like shifting the color temperature of the light with this looks neat!

and lastly i added a leather texture overlay, just as a small touch, it's something i noticed other artists using to make their art pop out more so i decided i'd give it a try too

you may notice that the work in progress pics have like, wrinkles above the paw pads - i removed those as a last minute change because they didn't make much sense with the anatomy being digitigrade otherwise. ok that's all! thanks for reading

rain world: the watcher

2025-10-27T00:00:00Z

this review is spoiler-free

rain world: the watcher is a wonderfully executed story about loss, trauma and cycles of abuse with a few glaring issues. in a lot of ways, it feels like a successor to the original rain world more than an expansion, but in others it significantly falls short of being enjoyable to play.

i've been playing rain world a lot since 2020. i enjoyed downpour, but despite being really fun and adding a lot to the game, it felt like it was significantly disconnected from the kind of game the original rain world was trying to be. in contrast, playing the watcher felt like playing rain world for the first time again. it challenges what you think you know about the world, it forces you to break habits you may have gotten used to as a long time player and it brings in a completely new story and world instead of building on top what was established in the original game, all the while still feeling like rain world.

the story of the watcher feels very well presented and emotional while remaining vague and cryptic enough to make you want to find out more. the world is vibrant, featuring many diverse regions (and aether ridge) and plenty of new creatures that actually feel distinct from what was present in the original. the soundtrack is full of great, unique songs that complement the gameplay. exploring this world for the first time was a genuine joy. the final ending is honestly one of the best endings i have ever experienced in a videogame. it is beautifully executed, and, in my opinion, significantly more impactful than any of the other endings in the game. finishing rain world: the watcher left me feeling a lot of things. it made me cry. it was exactly what i wished for from a rain world expansion, and more. and i really wish that i could just end the review here.

unfortunately, for reasons i truly do not understand, the developers made some really questionable choices in the expansion's design. i reached the first ending at around ~12 hours in. i had fun the whole time i was working towards it, it felt like it was building up to something wonderful, and the payoff was well worth it. by the end i felt like i had seen everything there was to see in the watcher. i had been to every region, most of them thoroughly explored. but unfortunately, there were 3 more endings to get, including the "true" ending. it took me twenty more hours (20!!!) to finish this expansion. this time was spent lost without any direction, then doing tedious, repetitives, joyless tasks. there was nothing new to see, to experience. there were no discoveries to be had. just tedious, menial labor.

by the time i got to the last ending i had long been ready to be done with the game. if it was any other game, i would have dropped out long before this point. this labor contributed nothing to how impactful the ending felt. i really, truly do not understand why the decision was made to include this much repetitive grinding in a game like rain world. not even as a side thing! it's required to reach the final ending. i genuinely wish i could recommend this expansion to my friends, but as it stands, most people are not going to want to spend 20 hours doing unenjoyable chores to reach an ending in a videogame.

you can rate this review on steam.
please don't send me a friend request if i don't know you!

(story) conflicting changes

2025-10-24T00:00:00Z

CWs/themes: body horror (kinda?), dubious consent, cock tongue, mouthlessness

it's been months now since that fateful encounter. it's hard to remember how exactly it all happened, but you recall the general sequence of events. it was late at night, you were walking home from a friend's house, then you took the wrong turn. an unfamiliar street, so eerily empty and quiet. then a strange figure, floating around you in a way that should be impossible, talking in a way that made no sense. next, a flash of blue light, its hand on your crotch, its fingers in your mouth. and then, nothing. it was gone. it all happened so quickly, you didn't even have a chance to react. you were terrified. in shock. the parts of your body it touched felt strange afterwards, but you were too focused on getting home to notice what exactly was off.

once you were safe and the initial rush of adrenaline wore off, it only took a quick look in the mirror to realize what had happened. where your genitals sat this morning was nothing but a smooth patch of fur. you felt it up, and save for the small hole to pee out of there was no sign that a dick had ever been there. then, the strange feeling in your mouth. you opened it, and instead of your tongue there was a cock, the same shape as yours used to be. it was just sitting there, as if it had always been there, as if nothing had changed. it didn't feel real. it couldn't have been real. you felt so out of it, you decided to go to sleep, and with the adrenaline all out of your body now you passed out cold.

you woke up the next morning, feeling all sore and groggy. you started to get up, but then you recalled the sequence of events from last night. you quickly felt up your crotch to reassure yourself that this was only a dream. but no. it wasn't. the changes were real. they were right there, as much a part of you as any other part of your body. you spent the next few hours pacing in circles, panicking, feeling your changed parts up, trying to figure out how this could be. eventually, you managed to calm down a little bit, and you thought to do what you always do when something's wrong and you don't know why. you took to the internet.

you tried to find answers, ways to reverse it, anything. at first there was nothing - unrelated links, kink stories written about similar themes, art of them - seemingly nobody else has had the same thing happen to them. but then you thought to look up the creature you saw. you didn't remember its appearance as much as you remembered its uncanny presence, the way it floated around you. the grin.

bingo. it didn't take long to find threads of people talking about their own experiences. it all matched. accounts of a street suddenly appearing where it shouldn't be, quiet and empty, the strange creature that looked all wrong, the blue light, the changes. everyone gets changed in a different way. there was no consensus as to why this happens, or what makes specific creatures receive specific kinds of changes. in fact, you didn't find much of use at all, just people's individual experiences. but you did find a link - it was an invite link to a private group chat, a support group of sorts for those who had been changed.

after talking to others for hours, it seemed like there was no undoing it. others had tried to go to different doctors, only to be told that there were no signs of alterations to their anatomy whatsoever, and that with current medical technology there was no way to undo changes this major. in every case it was as if the changes had always been there, always parts of their bodies. nobody was able to find the strange creature again, either. strangely, while others around those changed did notice the differences, they were never worried about them. they never showed any signs of panic, fear, or that anything had been wrong. the person they knew just became changed, and it didn't seem to bother them. they'd ask how it happened, they'd talk about it, but despite what would seem like a cause for concern, nobody was ever worried about it. you were grateful for that, at least. the last thing you wanted was to worry about others freaking out whenever you opened your mouth around them.

as you spent more time chatting in the support group, you noticed a strange pattern. those who had been living with their changes for more than a few months weren't bothered by them. they started out like everyone else: scared, confused, trying to find ways to undo it. but over time they'd come to realize that these changes were ones they had always wanted, even if they didn't know it before. in fact, a lot of the time, they learned to love whatever changes had been done to them. those creatures would usually try to comfort the newly transformed, to tell them that things would be okay. initially, you didn't want to believe them. you refused to believe that you'd ever be happy with a cock in your mouth. it wasn't just the appearance. while it took the place of your tongue, it had almost none of its functionality. you couldn't move it around voluntarily. you were unable to speak. you could still taste, but it wasn't the same. and, worst of all, whenever you became aroused, it would get hard like any other cock. this made it poke out of your maw, leaving you unable to close it. and that's not to mention that your other cock, you know, the one you've been living with your entire life, was now gone.

over time, though, learning to live with this started to seem less and less impossible. after enough time you tried pawing off with your new cock tongue - something that was unthinkable at first. you're not sure now what made you change your mind about trying it: if it was how pent up you were, your curiosity, or something else entirely. but it didn't matter. what mattered is how good it felt. instead of just the tip of your dick being the most sensitive part, the whole thing was equally as sensitive. and it was very sensitive. eventually, you managed to cum with it, it was the best orgasm of your life. after that, things started to change.

you quickly learned to love pawing off like this. how could you not, when it felt this good? you'd do it every day, sometimes more than once. beforehand you weren't too happy about having a cock down there - you'd usually avoid pawing off because it involved having to look at it, or at least touch it. but this new cock was entirely different. it felt so good to paw off with it, so right. eventually it became impossible to imagine pawing off any other way. sometimes you'd rub your blank crotch while stroking your cock tongue, too. it wasn't erogenous, it didn't feel like much, but it reminded you that there was no longer anything there, and that turned you on. so much. it was great. eventually you realized how happy these changes had made you. it was silly, really. losing your cock and having your tongue replaced with one instead? who'd want that? as it turned out: you did.

but just when you thought you had gotten used to the changes, something strange happened.

it's late at night and you're walking home. you were just hanging out with your friends, playing board games, having lots of fun. your friend group loves teasing you about your cock tongue. it often becomes a competition of who can manage to make it poke out of your maw first. there's not much you can do to resist. keeping your mouth closed quickly becomes uncomfortable, your tongue throbbing, pushing against your teeth. it's usually only a few seconds before you open your maw, letting your cock poke out of it and get fully hard. you quickly got used to not being able to speak, too. you were never much of a talker, you honestly prefer mostly relying on body language, using a text to speech app on your phone when you really need to say something. your friends don't mind it at all. if anything, they find it cute and endearing. and you love it.

you're thinking about your board game session. about how much fun you had despite coming in last. about how you can't wait to do it again. but then, you stop in your tracks. this isn't right. you went past the corner store, turned right. to your sides you expected to find more apartment buildings, a curved uphill path ahead. but instead, you found yourself on a narrow street with rowhouses to both sides. the street is completely straight, seemingly continuing on forever both in front of and behind you. you think about running, but it seems pointless. there is nowhere to run to. your heart is beating fast, you're hyperventilating. this isn't right. this can't be happening. not again. you feel sick.

you remember this place. this is exactly the same street where it all happened, where your body was permanently altered. there were plenty of accounts of others being changed in the same way, but there were no accounts of it happening twice. you look around yourself, scared, feeling like you're about to pass out. you see nothing but the empty street and rows of cookie cutter houses one next to another. you think about trying to open one of the doors - but then you see it. it's the same creature you saw before, moving towards you, fast. before you know it, it's floating right in front of your eyes. you're looking right at it, you're seeing its shape, and yet you can't describe it. it's as if you're not meant to be seeing it. not yet, whatever that may mean. that's except for the fixed, unnatural grin on its face. you feel like you're going to throw up.

it floats around you, speaking to you, but you can't focus on its words. all you can think about is what it's going to do to you. you think to speak, to yell, to try to ask it why it's doing this - but with the cock in your mouth, you only manage to let out a few incoherent noises vaguely reminiscent of speech. then you see the familiar blue light. you're lifted off the ground, its digits placed on the sides of your face. there's nothing you can do. you can't move. you're looking right at it as it swipes its hands away, little bits of what looks like goo the same color as your skin and fur flying away from your face. before you manage to process any of this, the strange creature is gone and you're next to the same corner store you had just passed.

you're shaking. you know it changed you again. you're afraid to find out what it did. you don't touch your face, you don't look down. you feel your heart beating fast. your vision is blurry. you need to get out of here. you rush home, moving as fast as you can without outright running. your jaw feels sore, your maw feels all wrong. as soon as you make it home, you immediately lock the door behind you and catch your breath. with your back against the door, you slide down, sitting on the floor. you stare off into the distance, unable to think. it takes a while, but eventually you come back to your senses. you think about it for a while, but you figure it's better to get it over with now than to keep worrying, and you go for it.

you reach your handpaws up towards your face. you feel your jaw, your maw, your snout. it's... it's gone. your mouth is gone. you keep feeling up your snout, your handpaws sliding across the smooth furred surface, finding nothing where your mouth was just moments ago. you try to open your mouth, but you can't. there's no muscles flexing, no movement. you push against your snout, feeling the bones underneath. it's all solid. you don't feel any teeth. you don't feel your lower jaw separate from the upper. it's all just one solid bone. there's no dents, no openings, nothing. it's all gone. looking in the mirror only confirms your fears.

once the initial shock wears off, you notice that you can still feel your cock inside, moving around slightly as you move your head. you tilt your head to the side, trying to use it to feel around in there, but all you feel is flesh surrounding it tightly on all sides. it's a relief that your cock is still there, at least.

you spend the night lying awake in bed, feeling your snout, uselessly trying to open a mouth that's not there. you message the support group, asking if anyone else has encountered this creature twice, asking if anyone else had their mouth taken away. but no luck. you've been through this before, but this feels different. it's one thing to have your cock taken away and your tongue replaced with a different cock, you think, but it's much more severe to have your entire mouth taken away. you try to make a sound, any sound. but you can't. the only sounds you manage to make are the quiet sounds of air entering and leaving your nostrils. you try to swallow and, to your surprise, you're able to do that still. you're not sure how that works, but you'll take it.

eventually, despite all the anxiety and stress, you manage to fall asleep.

you wake up the next day. with hopes that this has all been a dream, you feel up your snout and... nope. your mouth is still very much gone. you let out a sigh through your nose, looking into the distance, zoning out, thinking about it all. you check the support group, hoping that maybe someone might have some answers or clues to your situation. but there's only one new message from a member, suggesting that you go see a doctor. that even if they're not able to help, it'll at least be good to know just how much you lost. you figure that this is a good idea. not wanting anyone to see your lack of a mouth, you put on a face mask, and get going. no use delaying it.

the doctor visit only confirms your fears. a simple x-ray reveals that all your teeth and the entirety of your lower jaw have fused with your skull, which is now just one solid bone. the muscles used to move your jaw are gone, too. the internal cavity is still there, practically unchanged, with your cock tongue exactly where it was before and your throat behind it. as if it wasn't enough, your vocal cords are gone, too. you had a feeling, since you were not able to make any kind of noise the night prior. upon learning this, you let out another sigh, zoning out again, getting lost in thought. you only hear parts of what your doctor says afterwards. of them explaining that you don't need to eat or drink anymore. of how there's no way they'd be able to help you have a mouth again. but you already know you're stuck like this. just like you were stuck with your cock tongue before.

later at home, you lay in bed, just staring at the ceiling. you think about exactly how this is going to change your life. trying to see some positives in it, thinking that maybe that is going to help you feel better. you already weren't talking with the cock tongue in your mouth, so not being able to make any noises at all isn't that much of a change, right? you never particularly liked having to eat, it always just felt like a chore. you will definitely miss being able to taste things, but you can get used to that, you figure. you should still be able to -

oh.

pawing off.

you can't do that now, can you?

you feel at your blank crotch, no more of an erogenous zone than it was before. you feel at your snout, trying to rub it, press into it, but it's no use. all it does is make your cock tongue swell up inside your mouth cavity, pressing up against the impenetrable wall, desperately trying to get hard, but completely unable to. it reminds you of when you used to wear chastity cages, except there's no taking this one off. gods. your cock is throbbing, leaking, pressing against the inside of what was once your mouth, so desperate to get hard! it's clouding your thoughts, filling you with need. you rub and rub, pressing your handpaws into your snout desperately, but none of that makes it through to your cock tongue. you keep going, not knowing what else to do. 5 minutes. 10. 20. an hour. you taste the pre leaking out of your cock, being forced to swallow it, which only serves to fill you with more need. you forget all about your worries and anxiety. all you can think about now is that you need to cum. desperately.

you stop. you get up, quickly reaching into your drawer, pulling out your magic wand vibrator. if anything's going to be able to do it, it's this. you're shaking, both worried that this isn't gonna do it and filled with need, desperately hoping that this does the trick. you lay back down, pressing the top of the vibrator against the side of your snout, right next to where your cock tongue is pressing against the internal cavity.

you turn it on.

nothing.

you feel it vibrating your skin, your inner tissues, but it's not enough to penetrate all the way to your tongue.

you turn it higher.

then higher again.

then...

you feel it!

oh god you can feel it! barely, but you can. you press the vibrator into your snout harder. at its highest setting the vibrations are so intense, but just barely enough to penetrate to your only remaining erogenous zone. you don't know if it's enough, but you don't care. all you can think about is how happy you are to be able to feel anything at all. at this point, you're determined to do anything to cum. you have to! it has to be possible.

you rub the vibrator in circles around the area where it penetrates your thick snout, using your other hand to rub your crotch. rubbing down there doesn't feel like much, but it turns you on, and that's enough. you rub and press, harder and harder. soon, you find yourself humping a pillow. you're so desperate. you're swallowing more and more pre as your cock tongue leaks inside your snout, forcing you to taste it. gods. it barely feels like anything, but you're so full of need, it doesn't matter to you at all. you have no idea how long you've been at it at this point. a few hours at least. it doesn't matter. you can tell that you're getting closer. you don't care if you're just imagining it.

more hours pass. your snout is red from all the rubbing, your body sore and covered in sweat. but you're so close! you can't stop now. you keep rubbing, noticing the light on your vibrator turning red, indicating the battery is about to run out. but gods, you're so, so close now. it has to be enough. it has to. it... it ....

oh!

oh god!!

oH GodddDDdDDd!!!

GHHGHGHHGH

huffing loudly, you feel your toes curl as you dig your claws into the pillow you've been grinding, your whole body tensing up. this is it! feeling yourself go over the edge, dropping the vibrator as you cum. you feel your cock tongue throbbing hard inside your snout, filling the entire cavity with more and more cum. it's so intense, a feeling more euphoric than anything you've ever felt before. and it just keeps going. you're squirming on your bed, your handpaws wrapped around your snout as the intense feelings radiating from it spreads throughout your body. you're rolling in pools of your on sweat. it's about a minute until it finally starts tapering off, slowing down.

as you start coming back to your senses, you feel that what used to be your mouth is now entirely filled with your own cum. whenever you pawed off with your cock tongue before, you'd always just cum onto a tissue, or spit it out. you'd never swallow it. but... there's nothing else you could do now. not without a mouth. eventually, you swallow. you feel the warm, sticky, salty substance travel down your throat. you're forced to feel it, forced to taste it. there's still more left. you swallow once more, finally getting all of it. it feels so strange, swallowing without a mouth. it feels so. so...

you can't deny it.

you're really, really into this. you loved every last bit of this whole experience! you loved how hard it was to make yourself feel good, you loved the challenge, you loved how long it took! you loved how fucking weird all of this was! you loved being forced to taste and swallow your own cum! gods. this isn't a curse. it's a blessing, and there's no question about it.

months have passed now. as strange as it is, lacking a mouth has helped you feel more comfortable in your body. you find yourself actually caring about your appearance. you wear clothing that looks good on you. you don't bother with a mask anymore, you proudly leave your blank mouthless snout out for the world to see. sure you get stared at sometimes, but if anything, it makes you happy. you used to dread being seen as weird. you hated it, you hated how it made you feel so disconnected from everyone. so isolated. so lonely. but now, it brings you so much joy! lacking a mouth and being unable to talk, there's absolutely no hiding how weird you are. and you love it that way.

author's note: i hope you enjoyed the story! please leave a comment if you did <3 you can do so anonymously, or click "sign in" to add your name, no login required.

also: the second half of the story is in large part based on my experiences with pawing off after my bottom surgery. thought that was worth mentioning :3

the unspoken associations of drawing weird shit

2025-10-16T00:00:00Z

i'll start by saying that i'm in no way trying to complain about the way you guys interact with me or my artwork. the whole point of this blog post is to talk about the stigma of interacting and associating with weirdo artists.

this is a topic that has been on my mind a decent amount lately. all of you reading this probably know that i draw weird shit. i draw both kink and identity focused themes that i honestly haven't seen explored much by others. if you go look at some of the tags i use on places like furaffinity, you'll likely find just my art and like, a few others in bewteen. i like drawing weird shit. it's cathartic for me in a way few things in this world are. it allows me to explore ideas and themes that i can't explore in the real world. not even literally, necessarily, like: for a multitude of reasons i just can't get away with not speaking in the real world, so it brings me a lot of joy to make my sona permanently unable to speak and draw her like that. she doesn't have to worry about it, ever, she can live peacefully knowing that nobody's ever going to expect her to speak. and that in turn makes me happy.

unfortunately, drawing this kinda stuff comes at a cost that i don't really see brought up often. i'm not always drawing weird shit. sometimes i draw pretty scenes and landscapes, emotional artworks that i really want others to connect with. sometimes i make non-art related stuff that i'm really proud of and i want to share. but all this is tainted by the weird stuff i make.

those who want to follow me for my weird stuff won't mind me sharing pretty / artsy stuff sometimes, or other types of projects that i've been up to. but those who want to follow me for the non-weird stuff are very unlikely to want to stick around once they see the weird shit i make. i don't know if it's just in my head but a lot of the time when i interact with people from outside of my circles i just keep worrying that they'll see the weird stuff i draw and be disgusted by it. they won't say anything, but they'll quietly judge me and wish for me to leave them alone.

nobody's ever said anything negative to me about the weird stuff i draw. i've gotten nothing but praise from those who like it. but it's not what's said that bothers me, it's the silence. i'll often comment on art by artists i like, even when it's of themes i don't care for. i'll comment on how well executed something is, on how pretty it is, comment on the style or colors or ask what technique was used or whatever. it just seems like the nice thing to do, to support artists you like even when they're drawing stuff you're not that excited about. it's why it feels awful when i get significantly less interactions on my work when it's a theme i know isn't popular. like, i couldn't care less about the numbers, i'm not complaining about not getting enough, it's just the difference between the weirder stuff and my other work. it's knowing that people are avoiding it and i can't help but think it's because they don't want to be associated with it. they won't share it because they worry others would think that means they like it. they won't comment for the same reason, in fear someone would see them in the comments under that. they don't wanna be seen associated with this weird shit. i also this with me every time i reach out to someone i admire to comment on their work, every time i draw something for them. that feeling of knowing they'll appreciate it but they will not want to associate with me because of the weird shit i draw.

i want to start working on a long form comic project someday. this would be a story focused comic with very little (if any) kink / horny content. i really, really dislike separating my work based on how weird it is or whether it's sfw or nsfw. it just feels disingenuous, it feels like i'm hiding important parts of myself for the sake of pleasing others. but when i think about my comic project, i keep thinking about whether i want to separate it from my other work or keep it all together. on one hoof, i want to continue being fully myself, not hiding any parts of me for others' comfort or convenience, not sterilizing my work for the sake of reaching a wider audience. but on the other hoof, i feel like the overlap of critters who follow me for the weird shit and for the atmospheric / emotional shit is next to none - at least based on who comments on what. so i'd be killing my project's chance at success by keeping it mixed with my other stuff.

it's tiring, honestly. i worry so much about what others think of me. i don't wanna just be seen as "that weirdo". but i also don't wanna be seen as not weird. it feels like often times for people when there's any amount of weird it's all they see, an all or nothing type situation. i want to live in a world where i can draw myself as a weird mouthless chimera thing with 4 big useless hooves without losing the ability to be taken seriously, without that being all that people see.

in my circles it's not that big of an issue - after all, if you're here, if you follow me and you're reading this, you're likely not the judgmental type i'm talking about. but i don't want to just be stuck in my bubble. i want to be able to talk to people from outside it without worrying about what they'll think of me when they learn about the art i do and the themes that make me happy.

a friend summarized this whole thing pretty well: i draw weird stuff in addition to normal stuff, which makes me feel like normal artists might have trouble interfacing with it/me

this could all absolutely be in my head for all i know. it probably is for the most part, honestly. but it still felt like something worth talking about. who knows, maybe some of you will relate.

please leave a comment down below if any of this spoke to you! there's no need to register, you can just click the "sign in" button and type in your name, there's no need to actually log in to anything.

i've had a few critters reach out about how they like reading my blog posts and wish i wrote more of them, so i'll try! i have a few other topics in mind that i could talk about, and i'm sure i can think of more. till next time! pebble

a brief update

2025-06-02T00:00:00Z

hi all! it's been a bit, i figured i'd write a quick update.

u may or may not have noticed that i haven't exactly been present online lately. i wouldn't blame u if u didn't! i've never exactly been the most active. there's not really much to it, it's mainly for two reasons:

firstly, my blog posts regarding my surgery have gotten around, and while nothing negative's come out of that and i'm glad that it's helped spread awareness of the whole thing, i've been feeling very exposed online as a result. i can't help but overthink all the people potentially seeing anything i say or share online and how they'd judge me for it, even if that's very unlikely to happen. which ties into the second thing:

i have a very unhealthy relationship with social media and honestly existing online in general. i'd blame it on my time on twitter and how that's shaped how i interact with the online world in a lot of ways but really it's mostly a me thing, specifically something to do with a mental disorder. i was gonna write about the specifics of what that entails here but i honestly need to stop sharing so much about my personal life online.

though my main reason for taking a break from Posting is that i don't feel like i'm doing it for myself. i feel like there's this quota that i have to fulfill - i have to draw enough things, i have to make enough things and they have to be good enough otherwise the people online will no longer like me. i tried a lot of things to help with this but ultimately i always end up slipping back into this mindset. short of just not sharing things online at all i haven't found anything that genuinely helps - so as much as it sucks and as isolating as it feels it's something i need to keep doing, or i may never break free from the cycle.

i've drawn things and coded things and created things in my absence but as much as i'd like to i have to refrain from sharing for now. i'll likely be back, eventually, but i need to build a better relationship with existing online first. this isn't a goodbye, the kind and sweet reactions i've gotten to my work over the years have made me very happy and i've greatly enjoyed the feeling of community i have online but i do need to take a break, however long it may be.

there's this thread i saw shared on cohost when it was shutting down that's really stuck with me. it's something i've been trying to live by since and it feels fitting to close the blog post off with it.

thanks for reading. until next time! pebble

my first year of art

2024-12-19T00:00:00Z

there's a bunch of stuff i drew in 2017, my first year of trying to actively draw, that i still really like - i was very new to it, i wasn't very good, but i felt so inspired and motivated and full of ideas in a way i haven't been able to get close to since. these don't exist anywhere online so i figured i'd share some of my favorites.

hover over the drawings below to see their full title and when they were drawn. clicking them will open their full resolution in a new tab.

dawn

7 May 2017

coffee break

8 May 2017

rain request

13 May 2017

procrastinating

18 May 2017

respite

30 May 2017

just another boring day at work

24 June 2017

early on i really liked to focus on portraying characters just sorta going about their lives, doing mundane things they'd normally do. i guess it kinda helped ground me, it was a pretty rough point in my life

(btw look closely at the clouds on the second one below :3)

summertime sadness

30 June 2017

field drawing

5 July 2017

rainy day

7 July 2017

on top of the world

6 August 2017

train

10 August 2017

liftoff

28 August 2017

i also tried animating some, i won't lie it was mostly for clout bc i figured animated drawings would draw more attention, but it was fun! the train one was my most popular drawing on tumblr for as long as i had the account, even years down the line, which is pretty funny.

the "liftoff" one didn't have as much universal appeal i guess, it never got noticed. i still like it a lot though. wild to me that i made something like this not even a year after i picked up drawing!

the first one below, "fading", was a vent art. poor 17 year old me had so much to figure out. i wouldn't put together that i'm trans until like, a year after i drew this. and that was only the start of the journey. i wish i could go back and hug her.

fading

29 August 2017

(drawing 70, no title)

5 September 2017

(drawing 71, no title)

16 September 2017

gotta stay positive

22 September 2017

fall

1 October 2017

winter

1 October 2017

something to note here is that despite the fact that i was living in eastern europe at this point in my life, you'll notice the power outlets and light switch on drawing 71 are in the US style. having grown up on the internet where most people around me were from the US, i always felt out of place in my own country. a lot of the environments in my early drawings are also reminiscent more of places in the US than elsewhere. i might make a blog post on this topic at some point in the future, it's not really something i talked about before.

another slightly more fun thing is that a bunch of my drawings from this point in time had black bars at the top and bottom. this was to make them look more "cinematic" - it was something i picked up on artstation, where a lot of the art i was looking at for inspiration had these. i was kinda obsessed with trying to like, go for that environmental concept art kinda style. in my first year of drawing.

no wonder i ended up getting burnt out so bad jkdfhg

(also, the "gotta stay positive" drawing above is something i still look back on - u did it girl <3 u got good at it, i'm so proud of you)

that's what friends are for (3 panels)

7 October 2017

balloons (animated, sound)

16 October 2017

waiting in the rain

29 October 2017

cold breath

12 November 2017

cold breath (no fx, bonus)

12 November 2017

enclosure

16 December 2017

if you look at the "waiting in the rain" and "cold breath" drawings above (and the no fx version of cold breath), you'll notice that i relied heavily on my knowledge of visual effects to make up for my lack of drawing skill. at this point i had been messing with video fx production and designing graphics and stuff for at least 4-5 years, so it's something i was way more skilled with than drawing

as i got better at drawing, i started using this less and less, eventually giving up on it entirely. my art can definitely stand up on its own now, but oftentimes i wish i had the patience to do this kind of stuff with my art still. i feel like with my current drawing skill it could add a lot.

when i finish a drawing now i'm just kinda, done with it. i wanna post it and move on to the next thing. back then, i'd fiddle with it for a day or two after i was done with it, just tweak little things and add fun little effects and stuff. it wasn't efficient but it was fun. i wonder if i could somehow get myself to be ok with taking it slow again

ok that's it! u made it through the blog post !! good job :3 i hope it was a fun read. i wanted to share this stuff both bc i'm still v proud of this old art and bc when i was starting out i remember how much it helped to see good artists share their old, imperfect art, so i'm hoping maybe this'll motivate someone out there to pick drawing up or to keep going. u got this.

i'll also mention that these are my favorite drawings from 2017. there were plenty of worse ones, ones i'm not as proud of. you can find all of these in my art archive!